好玩英语：段子英语教学实验
这轮的搜集灵感来源于崔永元的一次演讲 ，如果内容不好玩，流量无法产生，甚至吸引不到Amy和Alice学习任何一样东西，包括英语。
所以，做思想工作的同时，还要注入funny的鸡精，为学习过程添加佐料，同时要把自己的大脑锻炼成一块英语段子信手拈来的肌肉，一切在于积累。
（以下段子来源于网络，仅作素材搜集，不代表个人立场）
1. Not addicted
I’m not addicted to Wechat. I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!
我对微信并不上瘾。我只在有空时玩微信。主要是在午饭时间、休息时间、睡前时间、这些时间、那些时间、任何时间和所有时间玩玩而已。
2. Two-faced people
I hate two-faced people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.
我最恨两面派，因为我不知道先扇哪边的脸，这让我很为难。
3. What means what?
When a woman says “WHAT?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said.
当一个女人说“什么？”，这不是因为她没听见你说什么。她只是在给你一个机会来收回你刚刚所说的话。
4. Uglier
When people call you photogenic, they’re actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pictures.
当人们说你真上镜时，他们其实是想告诉你：你本人看起来比照片丑多了。
5. Cure the world
People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
人们说笑容是最好的良药。你的脸一定能治愈全世界。
6. Go to hell
My feelings for you no words can tell，except for maybe “Go to hell.”
我对你的深情无法付诸言语，除了一句“滚一边去”！
7. Husband
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
婚姻是这样一种关系，一个人永远是对的，另一个人是丈夫。
8. Space
Sometimes you just need some space…to fart.
有时你只是需要一些空间……来放屁！
9. World
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是她的整个世界。
10. One million
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”
当我临终之时，我希望我的最后遗言是“我留了一百万美金，放在了……”
11. Mistakes
I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice.
我总是从那些听了我的建议之后犯错的人哪里吸取经验教训。
12. Borrow money
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
借钱就要向悲观主义者借，因为他们不会期待你还钱。
13. Trainer in the gym
A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?” The trainer replies: “Use the ATM.”
一个人问健身房里的教练：“我想给那个漂亮的女孩留个好印象，用哪个器械比较好？” 教练说：“用取款机比较好。”
14. This morning
This morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
今天早上当我正开着法拉利的时候，闹钟叫醒了我。
15. Annoying friend
Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
每个人都有一个让人烦的朋友。如果你没有这样的朋友的话，你可能就是那个人。
16. Tears
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
17. I hate maths
I hate maths, but I love counting money.
我讨厌数学，但我喜欢数钱。
18. Biography
How do people write an auto biography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
人们是怎么写出一本自传的？我好不容易才记住昨天午餐吃了什么。